Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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