seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
