i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
