ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
