after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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