After last night, I could never be a politician.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Found the puke drawer
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
