some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
