3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
