I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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