I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
whose ass print is on the piano?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
