gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
