I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
