he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
