Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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