I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You are the jesus of drinking
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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