Need sex. Gaining weight.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
