Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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