So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
