Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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