New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
