I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
