I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize