so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
