Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
