Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
