you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
there is glitter all over my balls
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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