We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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