remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
