omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
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