i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
