small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
