Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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