i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
