i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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