you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
