I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
