i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
