just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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