Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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