how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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