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It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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