I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize