So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
