I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
