K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize