no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
