I think scott just propositioned me for sex
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
