Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you didnt know i had herpes?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize