did you get engaged???
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
