her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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