Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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