Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize