Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
