everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
