You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
