Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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