If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
