onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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