i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
