Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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