if i can run in heels then i can drive
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she peed on how many people?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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