He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Rumble strips road head = magical
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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