Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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