i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
