The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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