I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
