it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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