she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
