i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
