New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
