8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
