He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize