Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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