My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
