You can't motorboat a personality
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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